читать дальшеIt's not really that I don't like myself. I'm actually quite content with what I have, at least partially. It's just that I inavitably divide my personality to two parts: inner myself and outside one. The inner one is perfect for all the introvertic stuff like reflexing, analysing and watching - but for the so-called outside purposes it sucks. I suppose it may be compared to reasons why we prefer to buy smarphones over the usual vintage already cell-phones. It's obvious - because its smart. And it's no matter how much you're dedicated to the old Nokia for instace, new smartphone has all these apps, internet, google maps and all the stuff you can't live without. Same goes for my attitude toward "outside-self": it's not functioning. It doesn't work for the situations I wanna be successful in so I can't help but feel sick and tired of myself at times. But in the end, what can I do with myself? I can't change my personality. I could probably try to take advantage of my introvertic traits of character as Kylie does but my ideal lies too far from that. So I continue making myself act as an extavert even realizing that it is useless.
Why can't I be interested in comunicating with people a little bit more than I do now?
PS If you think that I'm in condition to prove that "in vino veritas" than you're absolutely right.